The Bar Mitzvah of the Century!

Saturday, December 17, 1995

Beverly Hills, CA

So what would you do if you are a major Hollywood player married to an ex actress? You've sired one and only one son and love him fiercely with a passion that embraces devotion, pride and yes, a hint of vanity.

Your "sonny boy" turns thirteen and his faith calls for a lofty ceremony recognizing this considerable milestone. So what do you do? With an abundance of ingenuity you conjure a magical evening which shall dazzle and be cherished by all. You throw "The Bar Mitzvah of the Century!...also known tonight as "The Brian Awards."

My cousin Peter Roth and his lovely wife Andrea tossed one of the truly great soirees in Beverly Hills to celebrate their son Brian's very special day. Peter is now President of Fox Television and is responsible for such American TV hit shows as Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, Space and The X-Files, to name a few. In fact some of my favorite Hollywood actors turned up tonight like Tom Skerritt and writer/producer Stephen J Cannell. The only no-show was Michelle Pfeiffer (her husband works with Peter) who was elsewhere filmimg on location...drat!

During dinner we were surprised by a most unusual movie. The week prior to this gala, Peter, Andrea and Brian had filmed several Hollywood send-offs. i.e. The Godfather (The Roth Father) and The Silence of the "Roths." Brian was also interviewed by a perfect Joan Rivers mimic in a limo. Additionally, when we entered the main ballroom we were assaulted by paparazzi and Talk Show "News people." All this footage was then miraculously edited and duly unveiled on a super screen even before the main course was served.

All this extravagance prompted Andrea's dad Harold Rattner to tell this wonderful anecdote. "A family of means, in an effort to throw the event of all events flew their entire Bar Mitzvah party over to Africa and placed them all on a herd Safari elephants to traipse over to the banquet to end all banquets. In the midst of this trek the elephants suddenly stopped dead in their tracks and the guest who was sitting on the last elephant called out 'What's holding up the line?' From a great distance way up the line another guest bellowed back 'It's the Bar Mitzvah up in front of us.' "

Cheers as always, your partner in crime -
the OtherBob, Bob ~/..



My response to "bosaf"...I *know* I'm gonna regret this but I dood it... the Email deed. Ha!


* Sooooo...want to blow Brian away? Why not send him some E-mail. Just click